(special edition…longer than 200 words)
If India had lost the Twenty20 World Cup cricket….
Lalu Yadav: Pahle se Rabri aur hum kah raha hoon (Rabri Devi and I have been saying from the beginning) that cricket should be under relbays (railways), and not under minstry af khetibadi (agriculture); I mean, wohi, Sharad Pawar. See na, I turn around relbays; harvard bhi hum se seek raha hai na !
L K Advani: In 1992 we demolished the Babri Masjid. After that no constructive thing has happened in India. Now you can see in cricket as well. At least now you learn: Take four boys each from RSS, Bajrangdal, VHP, and Shivsena and train them in Nagpur (han baba, in RSS headquarters) and see the result in future.
Amar Singh: Congress is sure to face defeat soon. Sharad Pawar made an inexperienced boy Dhoni as the cricket captain; you can see the result. Now we are happy that Rahul baba has become the general secretary of Congress.
Acharya Ramdev: When I was in Durban, I sent an invitation to the Indian team to particiapte in the yoga shibir (camp). BCCI did not sanction ten thousand rupees for that. If the boys had learnt kapaal baati for a week, they would have defeated the world. I think it is all because of the influence of Brinda Karat on the government.
Faceless joint communique of left parties released simulataneously from CPM offices in Thiruvananthapuram, Kolkatta, New Dellhi, and Beijing: Our position has all along been clear. This strategic alliance with the US must end. Nothing in India must be operationalised, everything should wait for six months. We will withdraw support to the government, if Manmohan singh wants it that way. (Note: this communique is issued without change everyday for any question posed to the CPM).
Mohandas Pai (Infosys): As part of our corporate social responsibility, we are prepared to train for free 100 bright engineers (who are otherwise unfit for coding or patching) at our Global Centre at Mysore. Narayna Murthy had already made this offer when he made that famous statement about singing of national anthem in the presence of the then-president Abdul Kalaam.
NASSCOM (Karnik and Lakshmi Narayan): We have always been crying hoarse about the poor infrastructure in the country, insufficient bandwith, lack of world-class airports, coaching being not upto the standard in our engineering colleges, the rising rupee etc. We want all interference from the government to stop. We are considering getting one thousand engineers during this quarter from the banks of the Mekong river in China. We can lend 16 chinks to the BCCI to develop the Twenty20 cricket team.
Anonymous chief excecutive of a BPO from the bottom of a pothole located at the famous Hosur Road in the silican valley of India, Bangalore: Outsourcing is the only option. We will train the boys and girls to speak good English; good English is the only answer to win in the world; we will arrange for free pickup and drop at their homes or paying guest accommodation. Names must be changed. Mahendra Singh Dhoni, for example, should become Murry John.
Thanks for your patience.
Gopal
…..keying in is better than idling